Loving Relationships

There are many types of relationships in each of our lives—work, school, professional, casual. Most of us strive for some type of “loving” relationship. We have in our minds about how good or “right” a relationship is supposed to be.

The reality is, there are many kinds of relationships, and a given kind may fit a person’s needs at one stage of development but not at another. We choose partners who help us meet our present needs, fulfill our expectations, and if we’re lucky, become a loving relationship.

How do we know if we have a loving relationship? Here’s a few points to “check” your relationship to see if you are on the right path to a loving relationship.

1. You place the other person’s happiness on the same plane as your own—not less AND not more!

2. You have frank and honest dialogue that is not based on anger.

3. There is no reason or place for anger if the other person is genuinely interested in you and your happiness.

4. You have a mutual agreement to meet all of each other’s needs (within reason) not just the ones you feel like meeting.

Look for these clues in your own relationship to help determine if you have a loving relationship. There is no anger in a loving relationship. If you find anger in your relationship, you need to recognize it for what it is and calm yourself down. The degree of anger is indicative of the lack of mental health. Make sure you have an open and frank dialogue regarding the issues that make you angry. If necessary, seek help sooner rather than later—anger and anxiety are signs of mental disturbance.

Take the time to examine your needs and the needs of your partner. Be sure to agree to honor, respect and help meet the needs of each other. Sharpening and deepening our awareness of what we are doing, and how we are doing it, can help us make our relationship more nourishing and supportive, with less anger and anxiety, and ultimately lead to a LOVING relationship.